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Why do you review juggling convention shows? 

I’m at a point in my life where I feel the need to disparage indiscriminately.

How do your reviews work?

Opinions are alright, but I like to complain with cold hard figures. Shows/performers/routines score 1 point for everything I enjoy about them, however small or petty. They lose 1 point for everything that irks me.  

Some people say you’re petty and  bigoted. Is this true?

Absolutely. If you’re wanting high-brow, intellectual reportage you should leave now. In essence, I’m a very angry person with a terribly narrow world view and I enjoy complaining about people who offer themselves up for abuse. I also reserve the right to be personal and petty.

Does Wordpress or any of its affiliated sites share the views expressed in these reviews?

No. And nor does anybody else. Or at least only very rarely. It’s difficult to completely agree with me about anything because I’m terribly hormonal, and reserve the right to change my opinion on what I like and dislike at the drop of a hat.

Will you ever change your opinion on the suitability of hat acts for stage shows?

No. No, I won’t.

Can you juggle?

Barely. As such, my opinions count for very little and should be taken with a pinch of salt. My reviews are completely and strictly personal to my own unique tastes. They in no way reflect the intelligent and considered views of people in-the-know about such things.

If you hate these shows so much, why do you keep going to see them?

It gets me out of the house. And I do like to moan. I’m also of the opinion that juggling shows and conventions in general have got to the sorry state they’re in due to an absence of moaning. I don’t pretend to offer constructive criticism; if I think something’s crap I’ll call it crap and leave it at that, but I’m adamant that organisors should hear about what people like and dislike in their shows. It’s all about personal growth.

You’re an ill-informed idiot and I don’t agree with your review. Can I call you up on it?

Please do. That’s what public comments are for. Only through a process of grumpy name calling can we ever arrive at a conclusive decision about who’s right and who’s wrong.

Some of your reviews are password protected. How come? I want to read them.

Indeed, sometimes people don’t like what I write about them and resort to vague threats and harrassment of my family to get me to recant. I’m lazy and have better things to expend energy on than fighting my corner so I’ve password protected some of my more violently billious reviews to keep them away from the innocent eyes of the thinner-skinned who don’t like to read opinions which differ from their own or hear unfavourable things about themselves.

If you have no such qualms, try the word ‘bile’.