I’m drunk!
Huzzah!
And I controls teh internets! All your base are belong to me and you shall rue the day.
Motherbitches.
Archive for July, 2008
Work. Pub. Home.
Friday, July 25th, 2008Angry Naked Pat
Wednesday, July 23rd, 2008These balmy summer evenings are getting the locals all hot under the collars, so it seems. Pee and I have just taken great delight in watching a bit of real-life justice being brought to the streets.
We were treated to about ten minutes of watching the son of the chavvy racist next-door-neighbour-but-one flail lankily about the street, Tasmanian Devil stylee, hurling abuse at a variety of people, threatening to throw stones and waving planks of wood at people’s heads. Angry, he was. Equipped with the necessary skills with which to deal with this, he wasn’t.
And just as we thought it had all quietened down the entirity of Leicestershire Constabulary’s on-call officers decended upon the street with their big stripy cars and their flashy lights and stab vests. Several seconds later Angry Boy was being escorted up the road by five or six rather irritated looking coppers and thrust about a bit, in and out of a car in what looked to be a little case of stroppy resisting of arrest. His mum, meanwhile was doing her duty as a fine, upstanding pillar of the community type, explaining to a copper how she’d tried to defuse the situation with her repeated, selfless pleas that her beloved son calm down and talk openly with her in a one-to-one conversation. And I suppose she wasn’t technically lying. Grabbing at clothes and attempting to smack people round the face is indeed what passes for ‘calming measures’ round Braunstone way.
Still, it was nice to see the locals really get together for once and mingle as we all hung out of our windows and stood about gawping on the street. Encore, I cry!
Birthday Girl
Saturday, July 19th, 2008!Eleventy!1w00t!1!
For the next hour and 25 minutes I am a birthday girl, with all that that entails.
Presents today have included a wickedly stylish new mp3 player, a parcel load of kewl books from Lizzah, frilly french knickers, succulent willies, a blank, unpersonalised and unfunny card (which still had me in stiches), and a big bag of Haribo.
And aside from all the lovely pressies I have had a smashingly great day, beset as it was by rainy wetness and poorly organised activity. Pete and I met the in-laws at Chatsworth for garden strolls and a trip to the farm/adventure playground. And even though it rained we managed hijinks. I paddled in a fountain, met Mr Tumnus and a bear, found a magic doorway to a scary obelisk, encountered a friendly duck and an ugly pig, climbed on rocks, ran around a raining tree, descended one hundred (and two) steps, traipsed through a coal tunnel, and got my new shoes suitably scuffed and worn in.
I have vivid memories of being utterly petrefied of the adventure playground when I was a child; it being tall and looming in nature and I being clumsy and mouselike in mine. Our revisit today confirmed my worst fears; the main climbing frame towering above us with rickety abandon still. But it was awesome. Leon quite liked it, I gather, from the endless larking about he managed. Pete rather enjoyed himself too I reckon. Kudos to the little girl dolled up in the pretty purple skirt who was monkey-bar swinging fit to put the boys to shame, and to the two boys throwing rocks and shoving each other in good natured high-spirits.
We bought pizza when we got home and took it round Alan’s house. There were more presents there, including an Amateur Transplants DVD which had us chortling merrily for a couple of hours. Darren arrived, having failed to remember my birthday. He has only known me for 8 years though, so it’s understandable. We finished the evening with beer, Mario Kart, swearing, and grumpy Alan moods and I have arrived back home repleat after a full and terribly exciting day. Huzzah.
We must do this again next year. Thanks everybody.
[Edit] OMFG we went into a maze! And just after getting completely lost we found the middle and totally pwned that bitch. It was piggin’ brilliant.
List
Monday, July 14th, 2008I was doing a bit of spring cleaning of my computer at work today when I came across an untitled document from two or three years ago.
I can only assume I was trying to cheer myself up.
1. Triangular sandwiches
2. Unused crayons
3. Chocolate buttons
4. Making a den
5. Being the first one in a freshly made bed
6. Heated outdoor swimming pools in the rain
7. Yorkshire puddings
8. Bubbles
9. The desperate need to wee when you’re playing hide & seek
10. Getting your head stuck in something
11. Driving through tunnels
12. Toasters that make the bread pop up into the air
I do like chocolate buttons…
[Edit] Having thought about it, I think I was slightly less anal back then. If I made the same list today Cauliflower and Neat Lines would definitely be at the top of it.
