clurb.net

Black Cat and I have learnt a lot about each other this weekend.

Firstly, I have discovered that my cat has the uncanny ability to injure himself in such a manner that upon brief inspection he would appear to have two arseholes.

Secondly, I now know that my cat is well hard. The nice deep red-raw cut on the base of his tail had obviously been there for some time but even when Pete and I-and later the vet-poked at it he didn’t complain once.

Thirdly, a general anaesthetic and five stiches are ridiculously expensive.

Fourthly, I would gladly pay twice the amount.

Fifthly, waking up from your anaesthetic and thinking you can jump around the house like you normally do results in the most spectacular fails ever.

Sixthly, watching your cat wake up from his anaesthetic and think he can jump around the house like he normally does is absolutely hilarious.

Seventhly, leave a cat to his own devices and by the next morning five stiches will be reduced to four.

Eighthly, Black Cat prefers not to have a big plastic cone round his head, and even after 24 hours of dealing with it, is stupid enough to still be walking everywhere backwards.

Ninthly, leave Black Cat’s head in a big plastic cone for 24 hours and he will have worked out that repeatedly bashing his face into doors/walls/furniture/legs/windows/Gandini will split the cone, rendering it useless.

And tenthly, Black Cat and I are in agreement that there is absolutely no way that we can get through the next 10 days of enforced house-bound, un-coned convalescence without at least two more stitches being ripped out, a reasonable amount of frustrated hair-pulling, and a very healthy dose of mutual self pity.

see more crazy cat pics