clurb.net

I heartily commend you for being fit and active when you’re evidently a very old man. And I very much appreciate that commuting on a bike is rather hard work. I also understand that I’ve helped you in the past and that you’ve found my advice useful.

But please stop calling by just to say hi. You stink. And you sit too close to me and make me feel sweaty by implication. And your snug and sporty lycra bike attire is seriously inappropriate.

It’s not that I think you’re a bad person, you understand. I just think you could show a bit more consideration and – I dunno – bring a change of clothes with you.

Your friend,

That girl in the library.

For the past 15 minutes the IT bods sat next to me have been having a terribly in depth conversation about the relative ‘hotness’ of the actors in Hollyoaks.

We’ve already touched on such topics as hair, pertness of arse, fitness (both kinds), and ‘experience’.

For fuck’s sake.